I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Randomize
