Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
