I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
