I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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