plz talk dirty to me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
