Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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