it wasn't lemon gatorade
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
