I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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