we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
