I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize