I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Couch. On fire.
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