He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
