How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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