i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
