ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
