I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
