you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
