just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize