Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize