so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
