Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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