Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
there was a trapeze. enough said
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
