You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize