Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
