All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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