i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
