I hate all girls vehemently.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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