I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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