Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
