we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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