Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
