I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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