I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
