Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
