How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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