Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
