$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the day after is always just damage control
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
