508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
