pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
