she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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