You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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