I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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