I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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