It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
