when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
