All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
