seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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