I skipped work to stalk him.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just found a bag of teeth...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
