Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
