Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
