First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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