Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
