strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
