I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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