Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
