wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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