we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
