sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
