am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
this hospital has no fireball
Drake has all the answers
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
