He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
