just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
